Potatoes

I have just recently observed an odd behavior of mine. When I text someone, I sit dead like a potato until that person texts me back. Maybe not completely like a potato. Because potatoes don't often go on Facebook when they are waiting for a text message. Nor do they find some other ridiculously unproductive, menial activity to occupy themselves with while they wait.

But, like a potato, if I sit in a cupboard for too long, I'll grow some nasty-weird roots. So I avoid cupboards most of the time.

Anyway, if I have something important to do, it will lounge around atop my to do list. Until I receive that simple, insignificant text message. And so I write on my blog, instead. And time passes, and my homework doesn't even do anything to reach the finish line. It never does anything.

It's probably waiting for a text message.

Sailing

Last night, just like any other night, I went to sleep. Except usually when I sleep, I don't wake up in Africa. So last night was mildly different from any other night.

I sailed to Africa on my Human Development teacher's raft-slash-boat-slash-whatever-it-was-it-floated-on-water-type-thing. With my Human Development teacher. This apparently wasn't an odd occurrence. And when I was preparing to leave (on short notice, I'll have you know), I had to decide what I was going to bring, and what I was going to wear. Water bottle? Long pants or short pants? Being raised by my mother, I thought it would be better to just wear long pants, even though it would get hot. Sunburn, you guys. Never a good thing. But when I was making this pants decision, I thought that applying sunscreen was definitely an option. So this was a legitimately difficult decision. Long pants, be scorched; Short pants, repeatedly apply sunscreen. I'm not exactly sure on what I decided to do.

Either way, I sailed to Africa. Multiple times. And I finally realized that people should know about this. I mean, Africa. But I didn't want to bring my Canon Rebel XSI on a raft. That would be foolish. But I did have a camera on my phone... So that would have to suffice. But I even hinted to my Human Development teacher that "it would be cool if we brought a camera along..." But he obviously doesn't take hints very well. Oh, well.

So we sailed. And my teacher's wife came along. We sailed and sailed. But it wasn't in an ocean. It was more like a road of water. Like a river. And we ended up in Florida because of the wind, or something. That was a little irritating.

And then I woke up in Utah, in my bed, with my phone singing a Super Mario Brothers song to wake me up. The pictures of Africa on my phone didn't turn out too terribly.

Alarming

College is fun. My apartment is fun. Having my own room is fun. The view outside my window is nice. My schedule is acceptable. Except sometimes I don't like it when I have to wake up for my 8:00 poetry class. Eight doesn't seem like that early, but it is. So last night I set my alarm for 6:28 AM, on the dot. I had to accomplish some menial tasks before class this morning, so I had to wake up a little earlier than usual. And that's fine, whatever. Except I didn't go to bed until one. Why? I'm still trying to figure that one out.

So I was sleepy. Pretty sure I fell asleep the second after my head hit the pillow. Maybe even a few moments before I hit the pillow. Either way, I was asleep on my pillow at some point in time. I slept and slept, my REM cycle doing its job keeping me asleep.

And then I suddenly woke up for some reason.

My brain decided to try to wake up, too. And I realized my alarm was going off. But it seemed like something else woke me up. Did someone knock on my door? I opened it, and some dark figure in a ski mask with a pillowcase full of loot was standing in my doorway.

Not really. Nobody was standing there at all.

I blinked a few times, like some people do when their eyes are in the need of moisture, having been in a state of openness for a length of time. I was confused. Why would somebody knock on my door? And where were they? Probably ransacking the neighbor's apartment in a ski mask. Had my alarm been going off for longer than the usual 14.2 seconds? No... the clock said 6:38, on the dot. Did I set my alarm for 6:38 or 6:28? I couldn't remember. Either way, I didn't really care. I had more important things to worry about. Getting ready for class, for one thing. Worrying about the location of the mysterious ransacking figure, for another.

So I got ready for class. Nothing unusual. And I went and accomplished the previously mentioned menial tasks, and got to class late. Nothing unusual. And then I went to my next class. And then I walked home. And then I unlocked my door. And you'll never believe who I saw when I opened the door. I'll give you a hint: ski mask.

Wrong-o. I saw nobody. Nobody wearing a ski mask, that's who.

I lounged about for a bit. I didn't have class for a while. Then I got hungry. And do you know what I did? I opened my bedroom door to venture into the kitchen to eat some food. Humans need food to survive, you know. And do you know who I saw when I walked out into the hall? My roommate. And she wasn't even wearing a ski mask. And guess what my roommate told me. That she woke up to my alarm this morning. And do you know what else? She told me that my other roommate came and knocked on my door to wake me up. And do you know what else she said? She heard stomping from the upstairs fellows.

My alarm was set for 6:28. Ten minutes of BEEP, BEEP, getting louder and louder with every 1.2 seconds. And guess what. Pretty much all of my roommates were awakened by my alarm.

And later one of the fellows from upstairs was downstairs, paying us downstairs folk a visit. And do you know what he told me? That all of his roommates heard my alarm this morning. And they were stomping around, thinking that putting quick, hard pressure on the ground with their feet would somehow make the buzzing noise stop. And guess what else? The fellow said that they filed a complaint to the management of the complex. And then that fellow walked toward the door, telling us that he was going to tell the fellows upstairs that he knew whose alarm woke them all from their slumber.

The fellow opened the door, and guess who was standing in the doorway.