4.09.2011

When I Must Write A Paper, I'll Write Something Else.

Once upon a time, I didn't really feel like writing a school paper. So I tangented in a rebellious manner. And I wrote this. I stuck it in my drafts (as per usual). Because I thought that one day I could post it. Today is 'one day'.


Men are odd creatures. Martians, if you will. That’s why I’ll be forever single. An old maid. With thirty-two dogs. Not cats. Cats are demons. And they scratch your eyeballs out when you walk into the room. Then, when it’s convenient for them, they walk up to you (with puppy dog eyes, ironically enough) expecting you to caress their pre-hairball states. Why do people like cats, anyway? They have attitude problems. They’re cute when they’re kittens, usually, and so people become attached to their precious little paws, etcetera. Then people think that they have to continue to believe that the feline is cute and precious and whatever else they talk themselves into believing. That’s why dogs are the way to go. They retrieve the newspaper for you. That way, they keep you in tune with what’s happening in the world around us. They want you to pet them. All the time. Because they genuinely care. They are loyal. We all need loyalty. Basically, dogs are just better than cats. So that’s why I would choose to be an old maid with thirty-two dogs.

2 comments:

Cora said...

Hahaha. Precious little paws.
Kuds to you. :)

jandbfjohnson said...

I agree about the dogs, not the old maid part