Much Ado About what does ado mean

a. I care too much about the number of followers I have on Twitter
b. I miss having blonde hair
c. On some days I miss having short hair
d. I have no love interests at present, so it's pretty bland in that category of life
e. I always watch for things I admire in people, especially the things I wish I could be
f. I talk about donuts like I eat them every day. I don't eat them every day
g. I choke on my food a lot because I have a small throat
h. I'm kind of scared of relationships mainly because I'm afraid of them ending
i. I only listen to Bombay Bicycle Club lately because everything else tastes watery
j. I wish I could manage my time better
k. I just realized that I had my phone connected to a charger that wasn't even plugged in for the last 20 minutes
l. I like being tall
m. I shredded paper today at work. That's about it
n. I have wasted over 45 pieces of paper in the past two days because of printing mistakes
o. I wish I was in a band
p. I'm afraid of killing spiders unless whoever is with me is afraid of spiders, then I suck it up and squish it
q. That kind of describes my entire personality
r. I'm going to wear exercise shorts tomorrow because they sound comfy today
s. I don't have a favorite color
t. I'm afraid of ATMs and food joints where I have to go through the line to tell the employees what I want
u. I usually have to lie on my right side if I have any hopes of falling asleep
v. I have to begin to ascend/descend a staircase with my right foot or it throws me off
w. I used to vacuum up live spiders until my mom told me about the time at the cabin when she vacuumed up bees and they started crawling out covered in white wallboard powder
x. I purposefully use incorrect punctuation (leaving out commas and periods) because I think it adds to the tone of the statement
y. Lately I've just been putting mascara on my top lashes because I'm lazy
z. I have bad circulation, so sometimes my feet turn blue when they're cold, and they turn bright red when I'm hot

I've been in my own head thinking about mostly nothing

Thoughts on my mind today:

I. This picture we discussed in Art History today by Caspar David Friedrich, Der Mönch am Meer. I find it absolutely breathtaking and calming.

II. I took my first art history test of the year. I woke up this morning with all of what I studied swimming all over in my brain. My ability to recall minute details was unordinary and I'm blessed for it. I feel great about the test. My hand is still exhausted from writing.

III. I think we've gone over this one before.

IV. Aside from getting my degree faster, I think why I keep insisting on taking 17/18 credit semesters is because it's my own way of making up all the ambition I went without for so long. I've never strived for anything exceptional, and I have never been driven to do anything exceptionally brilliant or amazing. I just have always had a comfort zone that I work within. But with taking so many classes in a semester: I'm proving someone wrong. Myself? Who knows. But it's the one thing I can take and run with enough risk involved to keep me on my toes.

V. Waking up is sometimes the most challenging part of the day.

VI. Last, This music video:

Rather

In honor of my disintegrating sanity, I am introducing you to my list of things I want to fill my life with. Although I appreciate school and the opportunities it brings, the following are things I'd rather be doing with myself at present or in the near future/the things that will be the reason I get a job:

- concerts. A disgusting amount of concerts all the time.
- fashion design
- explore earth
- learn to play the cello
- Spotify Premium
- learn French
- learn Spanish
- go to fancy parties/wearing fancy dresses
- work in my messy, window-lined art studio
- try Indian food
- buy fancy coats walk to the beach
- shoot film

Selfie

Rarely do I think before I speak, and rarely do I find first impressions to be at all accurate.  One of my biggest fears is jury duty and my biggest fear of all is going blind. I am not at all superstitious, I hate washing lettuce and shaving my legs, and I mostly always prefer doodling in pen. 

I have a hard time believing those who say they have no artistic ability. I am all talk with little walk and I am always glad when I wake up from dreams. I dwell more on the scenarios in my head than reality. 

The only time I find silence to be awkward is when I worry the other person is uncomfortable with the quiet. I am a terrible gift-giver, and my favorite thing in the world is when people listen to my favorite songs. I love being barefoot and I do not like doing somersaults, and I always imagine up how many rooms full of paper I have doodled through. The first time I jogged an entire mile was last week, and I do not have a favorite color. 

I daydream of Oregon coastlines and I read classic novels up until the last few chapters or even the last few pages.  I love sneaking in a glance at the men's clothing when I go shopping. My biggest regret is quitting ballet and not growing up in the 70s. 

I am a believer of the Oxford Comma, the Hartman Personality Color Code, and the preservation of exclamation points. The best things in life are newly washed sheets and towels, fully charged batteries, and clean windows.

For the most part, I find that the ends justify the means. My love language is Quality Time, and I am an introvert. The makeup section at Walmart is my weakness, I do not like driving when there are other people in the car, and my dream job is to direct music videos.

Unless it is food, I rarely buy anything that is not on sale. I am a social eater, The Sound of Music is my favorite soul food, and I have a small invincibility complex I never grew out of. I love abstract art and flowy skirts. 

I rearrange my room frequently to stay sane and change is the kind of uncomfortable that I shrink away from. I use the word "Also" too often, and "I love you" too little. My favorite part of songs is nearly always the bridge, and my favorite songs always have one. I am an escapist and an artist, and I am forgetful and attentive.

I am 

and always will be

Bethany.

Thursday: Theories, Thoughts, and Other Things

When my face has, what it seems to be, a normal, straight-mouth expression, apparently it looks like I am scowling. I have had people on multiple occasions say things to me like, "Smile!" and other ridiculous commands.

Maybe I was just born with a scowl. 

I mostly can't handle how scatterbrained I am, lately. (I am always scatterbrained, but lately it has become more of a problem.) It's getting completely out of hand, and forgetting supplies, assignments, and other various class-type things is not an experience I particularly enjoy. I should probably choose a major that solely depends on computer work or something that doesn't require me relying on my brain.

I have been so sniffly these last few days. I truly want to blame the smog, because I had cold-like symptoms the last time we experienced this array of dirty, disgusting particles floating around the air around here. This time my voice has had its struggles, and I've used a fair amount of tissues. Soup sessions should be in order here, soon.

In the hallways at school, I think the chairs lined against the walls should actually be turned around to face the walls. I don't really enjoy using the halls as my runway.

I hold the record on a number of accomplishments. To name a couple: Changing my phone number the most times out of everyone. Having to clean my room the most times out of everyone. The most often. It mostly just takes me a couple minutes to make a mess of things, and luckily it just takes me a few more minutes to clean it all up. It's just a little humorous to see the transition of my bedroom's state throughout the day.

I'm cutting my hair tomorrow. It's not a big deal, because I'm not going from long hair to a pixie cut, or anything. But it's been getting hard to fix, lately. So let's chop it off.

And that is all I wish to say at this time.

Tuesday: Truths

Sometimes I make myself think that I have to be invincible.

My attitude toward public transportation is as everyone's attitude toward the DMV.

Today I forgot my chapstick. The idea of going back home just to get it was not far from my mind.

I hate it when I take the first step on a staircase with my left foot. Call it OCD, but I can usually tell from a good distance from stairs if I'll have to step up with my left foot first.

Post offices scare me.

I'd always thought it was weird when people leave hundreds of (or even just a few) unread messages in their email inbox. As of a few months ago, I've become one of those people.

If I were to major in anything besides art, I would probably go in to something in the area of social work.

I wish I never quit ballet.

Sometimes I pretend like all of my drawing homework doesn't exist.

But it mostly does.

Truly

I find dishonesty to be the lowest form of human interaction.
If it even counts as interaction.
Or human.

Latest Facts

BLTs and Cap'n Crunch are both delectable foods, but they always damage my mouth when I eat either of them.

I do not want phones in my future home.

Text messaging is not my favorite method of communication.

I somewhat irrationally dislike the process of getting ready for bed. It takes too long. Then I take 9.2 times longer putting it off than if I would have just gotten ready for bed forty-two hours previous.

There has never been a time that I have kept my room clean longer than fourteen days. ["Never" meaning "never" and "fourteen days" because when I was a younger tot, my mother offered to paint my room if I kept it clean for two weeks. I failed. Consistently. I feel like the colors on my walls is a recurring problem in my life.]

I really don't watch much tele. Like, ever. Except when my parents are watching a show that I happen to make myself sit down for. And only a few other exceptions.

Sometimes I find little ways to rebel. Right now my latest rebellion of choice regards my hair. I want to chop it off. Or find some hairstyle that is longer, but unique. Also, I'm oh-so tempted to color my hair in an interesting manner. However, I'm hesitant to break my I-have-never-dyed-my-hair-before streak.

Routine

Lindor Truffles. Also known as the first thing in my mouth for the last three days.
Three A.M. Also known as my bedtime the last [insert accurate time frame here].
Noon. I feel like you can guess what I'm about to say.

Teeth: Still hanging in there.
Eyes: Wide and tired.
Sanity: Dwindling.

Tapestry

My last 1,440 minutes:

Chocolate mingling
Christmas light-finding
A welcomed 'hello'
Self-leveling cement
Carpet prep
A second nosebleed in a day
Verge of voice loss
Carpet prep
Acquainted disappointment
Outlet retrieving
Light fixture-fixing
Corduroy purchasing
Anticipating
Etcetera

Distaste & Taste

I do not enjoy when I start cleaning my room and then I don't finish. Because then I never finish.

I do not enjoy when my impatience swallows me.

I do not enjoy when no matter how much I check off on my To Accomplish list, there's always a check mark I overlooked.

But mostly, I do not enjoy the space involved in distance, time, and otherwise.

But I do enjoy sweet rolls.

And I do enjoy milk.

Shavings

It is nice when you discover that you really don't have unlimited photo space on this whole blogger deal. Google's a smart cookie in that regard.

I don't have a list of people I hate. I have a list of people who hate me.

I finally have a real blog header. If you hate it, I'll probably add you to the list of people who hate me.

Sometimes the Grooveshark playlist I listen to gets old, but it's the only thing my ears are comfortable with right then.

This song is a nice reflection of life, to put it vaguely. It has three stages within the song, and I enjoy each one.

I have infinite tasks to do in the photography area of things.

Happy Candy-Begging Day; Welcome, winter months.

That Thing In Which We All Exist

I've never broken a bone. I credit my intake of 3.4 gallons of milk. Daily.

Pandora should never play music I already have on my iPod.

I feel like the word "life" is overused and worn. I often want to say, "Life is _____." And I often do. But then I often feel blended into the Dictionary of the Overused Vocabulary. Because life is swell, but to express this would mean to express a somewhat cliche statement.

I have often heard that life is unpredictable. I believed that. To an extent. Because I always believed that life could also be a little bit predictable. Because it's always been a little bit predictable. Minorly.

Life is unpredictable, kids.

I Blank

I think the guy on the right is a genius.

I purchased my second phone in one week, today.

I have an interview tomorrow.

I miss plenty of things. Including my camera. It's sitting right next to me right now. But still.

I am going to go eat something.

I Am & I Am

I am seventy-three inches long. I have bad posture, long fingers, and a smile that shows my gums. My hair is blonde and shoulder-length short, and I have size eleven feet.

I am afraid of the dark, I hate keeping secrets, and I tend to care what people think about me. Sometimes my thoughts filter through in either blog or facebook status form. 

I long to accomplish something, anything, and everything. I will alter my mindset to please others, to a fault. I constantly long for adventure, life, and love. Smiles melt me and genuine laughter makes me grin. I cry when others cry, and I am terribly impatient. 

I find people amusing, confusing, and purely wonderful. I like to read when I have a book in my hand, but otherwise I'd rather read the world through my camera lens. I dissect songs, bands, and singers, consequentially causing me to find unbreakable adoration for people I'll likely never meet. I eat for fun, and I hate cleaning until I start; then I can't stop.

I sometimes get headaches when I am not listening to music, and I love reading people's blogs to read into new people's lives. I want to write a book, but I'm too distracted to get started. I hate making decisions, both big and small, and I am unintentionally flaky. My weaknesses are well-shot photographs, cheesecake, and clearance clothing. I have a collection of light bulbs and some blog drafts that will never be posted, and I am never on time. 

I can't ever keep my blog posts or stories short and sweet, I never initiate hugs, and I love the smell of cotton candy, vanilla, and waffles. I find life's insignificants to sometimes be the most significant. I think life has the potential to become a piece of poetry or a work of art. I hate staying up late and I hate sleeping in, but I can never seem to do otherwise.

I am self conscious, mostly obnoxious, and sometimes reserved. I am sarcastic, passionate, and lazily determined.

I am emotionally driven, and I find it hard to throw anything away that is attached to a memory. I am a follower of the rules, and I am inconsistent.

I'm 

Bethany.

Hearing: Gone

You know the feeling when you have to turn the headphones' volume up for a video, then when you go back to your music it deafens you? I just re-discovered that feeling. Now I think I'm deaf, guys.

I haven't poemed anything in a while.

I haven't shot anything in a while.
             The camera kind of shoot.

Here is a small playlist of music I blast in the car, in my headphones, or otherwise.

My new deodorant smells like laundry detergent. A lot. It's true. Whether you wanted to know about my deodorant scent or not.

I think I just became a follower of like 548 new blogs. More or less.

I just like people. And their blogs.

The Longest Day of My Life [or just of the year]

Two years of being out of high school. It's been a swell, swell two years. I am pretty sure I liked being in high school; don't get me wrong. But I like being out of high school better. Much, much better.

Happy Solstice, everyone. It's the longest day of the year. Hate to burst your bubble, but starting tomorrow, the days will get shorter.

Saying "their" instead of "he or she" [or instead of just "he". I'm fine with that.] is grammatically incorrect.

I bought a couple of my tees from Target today. It was only necessary.

Here's my photography blog. I guess I'm going to photograph families now, too.

All You'll Ever Need to Know

The best way to start off the day is to start it off with an interview.

If you ever want to learn how to sell a pen, interview at a photography studio.

An interview is going well when the interviewer thinks you are one of the other applicants named Brittany, rather than Bethany.

When you firmly shake someone's "dead fish" handshake and you feel a bone in their hand slightly pop, it's probably a good sign.

It's as good a time as any to feel put on the spot and intimidated when you are asked to take some pictures of the interviewer.

"Why do you want to work here?" is a completely fair and intelligent question. Because nobody works for a paycheck, anymore; there's always some other deep, penetrating reason to be seeking employment.

It probably means you got the job if the interviewer takes .27 seconds to look over the pictures you took of her.

Conscious

Sometimes I open a blank post and I just let it sit in front of me for a while. What's my draft count? Thirty-nine. Forty if this ends up in my draft bowl. I have a lot sprinting across my brain right now. One thought: Write this post with  no paragraph breaks. No brain breaks. Just one big blob of written brain, smudged across the screen. Another thought: I wish they'd call me in to interview for that job. You know. That one. The one that would require relocating my location, for a minute. Oh hey, and you know that concert? The tickets-winning one? It's this week. On that one day of the week that is basically promising wet, colder weather. But am I complaining about that fact? Absolutely. My room is a mess. I detest it. I detest sleeping in after I sleep in. But my consciousness randomly attached itself to a sleeping schedule. That's nice. I want a bike. Sometimes I wonder who reads my blog. Is it just for my own therapeutic key-strumming? Either way, I enjoy it. I thoroughly love people. I love listening to conversations that don't belong to me. I love watching people who will carry no relevance as soon as they walk away from sight. But then. Other times I bite my lip and squeeze my eyes shut tight and pretend like I can tolerate people for a few moments longer. But then it's not pretending, and the tolerance works out. And then I just love people again. Twenty is such an awkward age. I don't know why squinting helps me see better. Habits are hard to break. Ornery should be awnry. Sometimes people don't like my obsessions. That just makes me stick to them, even more. April showers are lasting too long. This summer I will sit on a roof during the evening just for a new perspective.

Truther, Truther

Seeing balloons fly up, up, up to the sky makes me glum. It's a lonely, helpless sight.

Maybe someday I will unpack my college things.

I shdould go a sddya withought backespacing anythign I type.

          But not today. I will spare you.

I lie to myself, a lot.

My indecision gets in my way, a lot.

Why is it called 'Bucket List'?

I had a Bucket List, once. I am not sure where it went. It had things on it like, "Paint a mural." and "Find a needle in a haystack."

I have a playlist to share [again]. It's a different piece of work. More bookmarked songs from Pandora. Only they are not songs I listen to repeatedly. Well, some of them I listen to often. If you'd like to hear, here you go.

How does one's bedroom become so horrendously messy when one's possessions are not yet unpacked?

I miss my apartment bedroom.

But it's okay. I have my room, here at home. It's pink. Barbie pink. Not for long. I am going to take a paintball gun to it, pretty soon.