à la danse

Today I started cleaning my room. It's still a work in progress.

But there was a small box under my bed that had some clothes in it. Like shorts. A spring shirt. Gloves from a high school dance. Ballet tights and shoes.

I put the tights on shoes on. I did some ballet things. And then I missed ballet even more than I recently have.

I may take some classes and catch up on what I have missed for years.

It's pending, for now.

But perhaps likely.

Tip

I got a twenty-dollar tip today. From one rockin' Argentine. Sometimes people are so nice. Like the people who read my name tag once, then they address me by Bethany every time they see me. And they don't have to read my name tag again.

Also it's weird when I'm at work and the guy I just checked in walks up to me and asks if I'm interested in earning some extra money. And he gives me his card for his business.

I threw it away.

In other news,

I'm so tired I could eat a horse. That doesn't make much sense. Either way, my eyes are drooping. And I have laundry to do. And one whole hour of the night is going to disintegrate into nothing and become forgotten and irrelevant. I am going to miss that little hour.

Also I'd never eat a horse.

Hotel Perks

Benefits of working full time at the hotel:

I don't have the time to eat my normal eleven meals every day.

I just eat four; breakfast, lunch, dinner, and binge session before (and) or after work.

I bring healthy things for my lunches. PB&J, chimichangas, chicken noodle casserole, yogurt, almonds.

And then I buy doughnuts from the vending machine.

I talk on the phone like a professional. I give long-winded greetings. I say, "One moment, please," rather than "Hang on a sec."

Even on my home phone.

I can fold towels like a pro. 

Three gigantic hotel dryers full.

I get to associate with people from all over the place. Denmark, Argentina, England, Sweden.

I get to pretend like I understood everything they just said.

I stay busy.

Even if that means putting nine people on hold, telling the seventeen people in line that I'll be able to help them in one moment, letting the six people who need blankets know that I'll get those to them in twenty just a couple minutes. Just so I can answer this one guest's simple question.

There's money in my bank account.

Even though I don't have much to spend it on, besides random trips to McDonald's for hot chocolate and smoothies, Village Inn for French toast, and soda for a friend who pays me back later that night, anyway.

Get a job at a hotel. It'll make you more suave. Because it's making me suave. And rich enough for McDonald's. 

Reflection

Why is it so hard to not do the things that you want to do

And so normal to stick with the hard things that you want to change?

P.S. Welcome, March. Just the fact that we're now in the same month as the first day of spring

 makes up for the fact that it seems like we're still in the same month as Christmas.

Secrets

It's hard when I'm tired
When I have work tomorrow
And it's late

And almost everything is
Just almost in its place

But there are those little
Envelopes I sealed in my brain

Because too bad they'll maybe
Probably
Never be opened.

Pulled Through

Tattered Relics

There is a stairway leading

To an impossibly careless room

Of idle pages strewn about

Tired reflections of dusty gloom

The paper on the walls is peeling

Sagging with its age
Just like those recollections reeling
I vow to forget, and soon

This ancient room of decaying dreams

Tears away my breath

And I’ll never find what it means

To forsake and tear my past

-Polished from Poetry course

December 2010