So you know in the cartoons, when a bear disturbs a beehive, and the bees swarm the bear and chase him all over the place? My cabin was like that.
Minus the beehive, minus the bear, and minus the bees. But then, plus mosquitoes.
It was ridiculous. I would look down and they were covering my pants. Sometimes I thought I was wearing a swarm of mosquitoes. They'd buzz all around me, smacking their little straw lips. And they buzz in my ears and I hated it. Because, hey, I don't know how to speak mosquito.
I was destroyed. Death by West Nile carriers. Even when I had bug repellent on me.
Oh, and also, how do you feel about ticks? Because I am scared of them. And one night I went to take a shower [yes, hot, running water at my cabin; a recent and lovely addition], and I announced to my family, "If I find a tick on me, I'm going to scream."
So as I was preparing to take a shower, I looked down and the cutest little arachnid was crawling upon my clothing. Cute, meaning disturbing. Arachnid, meaning a fellow named Tick. Clothing, meaning my underwear.
Yes, it is true.
And so I died. Twice.
And the tick died. Once. By being flushed down the toilet.
Goodbye, Tick.