Hotel Perks

Benefits of working full time at the hotel:

I don't have the time to eat my normal eleven meals every day.

I just eat four; breakfast, lunch, dinner, and binge session before (and) or after work.

I bring healthy things for my lunches. PB&J, chimichangas, chicken noodle casserole, yogurt, almonds.

And then I buy doughnuts from the vending machine.

I talk on the phone like a professional. I give long-winded greetings. I say, "One moment, please," rather than "Hang on a sec."

Even on my home phone.

I can fold towels like a pro. 

Three gigantic hotel dryers full.

I get to associate with people from all over the place. Denmark, Argentina, England, Sweden.

I get to pretend like I understood everything they just said.

I stay busy.

Even if that means putting nine people on hold, telling the seventeen people in line that I'll be able to help them in one moment, letting the six people who need blankets know that I'll get those to them in twenty just a couple minutes. Just so I can answer this one guest's simple question.

There's money in my bank account.

Even though I don't have much to spend it on, besides random trips to McDonald's for hot chocolate and smoothies, Village Inn for French toast, and soda for a friend who pays me back later that night, anyway.

Get a job at a hotel. It'll make you more suave. Because it's making me suave. And rich enough for McDonald's.